“ The only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner Josh Stern
“ Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco Josh Stern
“ Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it Josh Stern
“ When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow Josh Stern
“ Treat life as a suicide mission, take on the impossible jobs and attack with the gusto of someone who has nothing to lose.... and when you revel in victory, make like it's a dirty win Josh Stern
“ Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows Josh Stern
“ It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real talent Josh Stern
“ I started to enjoy the regal sport of cockfighting... but I'm still having trouble getting the hang of windmilling the bayonet Josh Stern
