I'll never forget my first time with you. The earth moved, and then mom asked dad who he was going down on during lunch.
Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.
You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that.- Anthony
You are the most passive son of a bitch, Cynthie said. No wonder she never slept with you. You probably never asked her.Thank you, David said. That’s great coming from somebody who got turned down aft...
What are we going to do with the body? She had visions of dragging it into the swamp, whispering, Here, gator, gator, and she made a little sound of distress at the thought.
Well, you won't unless you come to lunch with me, Cal said. I'm holding it for ransom. There's a gunto its heel right now.I have lunch at my desk, Min began, and thought,Oh, for crying out loud, could...
Then she turned away before anybody caught her slack-jawed with admiration. He was not the one, that was her DNA talking, looking for a high-class sperm donor. Every woman in the room with a working o...
The last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class
She met his eyes and playing fair lost its appeal. You are not going to forget me, she said, her chin up. I don’t give a damn what your plans are, you still want me. Just don’t expect me to sit around...
Real life doesn't have to suck.
Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin.I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture
If you can’t be a good example, you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
I was standing in the doorway when he said hi, Amy said. And from the look on his face, what he has for you is not the key to the city.
I have to give birth to be a good Ameican? No. There are more than four million babies born in this country every year. The American Way is covered. If it worries you, you can have extra to make up fo...
I had you pictured dead in a pool of blood in front of the fireplace. And now you show up alive, and I want to kill you myself. (Zack)
Every species has a dinner date as part of courting ritual. A woman who won't let you pay for dinner is rejecting your courtship. She may think she's playing fair, or that she's being a feminist, but...
Anthony watched him, dumbfounded, and then turned to Lucy. What have you done with Zack’s brain?Lucy stood to follow Zack. What brain? I don’t think he has one. I think he’s just one giant exposed ner...
Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve...
No more pep talks about believing in toads, Liza said.Don't they turn into princeses when you kiss them? Bonnie said.Thats frogs, Liza Said. Entirely different species.
Your cat just got cat hair on me. It’s only fair, Min said. Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.