Hey! Lula yelled, back in Ranger's face. You look at me when I'm having a breakdown. And don't pull that mysterio silent shit on me. I don't take that bus, you see what I'm saying?
Here’s the thing, Riley said. I’m not really into diabolical possibilities. I’m more into logical explanations.
He's a Stone Dead gang member. He'll be hanging with the other Deads, and the Deads own the fifth block of Stark. Their color is purple. Their name is significant. These losers are dead inside. They'v...
He was around the desk in two strides, reaching out for me. I knocked his hand away, grabbed the staple gun, pressed it into his crotch, and bam, bam, bam, bam . . . I stapled his nuts.
He slid an arm around me and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest, and he nuzzled my hair and kissed me just above the ear.
He rushed to the dish, crammed everything into his cheeks, and rushed back to his soup can, where he hunkered in butt side out, vibrating with happiness and good fortune. That’s the neat part about a...
He opened two blouse buttons and traced a line along the top of my bra with his fingertip. He bent his head, brushed a kiss across my breast, and slipped his hand inside my bra. I think I might have m...
He grabbed me by my jacket lapels, pulled me to him, and kissed me. His tongue touched mine and I got a rush that was just a millimeter below climax. His hands slid inside my jacket and circled my wai...
He doesn’t look gay. Of course he does. His skin is flawless and his haircut is perfect. And look at his slacks. Not a single wrinkle. How does he do that? Leo asked. I always get the wrinkles.
He couldn’t understand that, she thought, because he had no purpose to his life. He was a couch potato. He’d reverted back to childhood. He was a wasteoid. He was the man of her dreams, and she was af...
He could freeze his stupid dick off for all I cared.
Greeks thought there were four kinds of love. Storge, or familial love. Philia, or friendship. Eros, or romantic love, and agape, or unconditional love.
Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.
Grandma pulled a .44 magnum out of her purse. Everybody duck, and I'll shoot out his tires.
Grandma ladled out oatmeal for the three of us. She and I took our bowls into the dining area, and Bob ate his in the kitchen. When Grandma and I went back to the kitchen, Bob’s bowl was empty. The ca...
Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her...
God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
God bless YouTube, Lula said. You don’t even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.
Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so...
Finally, a sport I could enjoy.