He opened two blouse buttons and traced a line along the top of my bra with his fingertip. He bent his head, brushed a kiss across my breast, and slipped his hand inside my bra. I think I might have m...
He had a lot of muscle and a skill level somewhere between Batman and Rambo.
He grabbed me by my jacket lapels, pulled me to him, and kissed me. His tongue touched mine and I got a rush that was just a millimeter below climax. His hands slid inside my jacket and circled my wai...
He doesn’t look gay. Of course he does. His skin is flawless and his haircut is perfect. And look at his slacks. Not a single wrinkle. How does he do that? Leo asked. I always get the wrinkles.
He couldn’t understand that, she thought, because he had no purpose to his life. He was a couch potato. He’d reverted back to childhood. He was a wasteoid. He was the man of her dreams, and she was af...
Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.
Grandma pulled a .44 magnum out of her purse. Everybody duck, and I'll shoot out his tires.
Grandma ladled out oatmeal for the three of us. She and I took our bowls into the dining area, and Bob ate his in the kitchen. When Grandma and I went back to the kitchen, Bob’s bowl was empty. The ca...
Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her...
God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so...
Fifteen minutes later I was dressed in four-inch FMPs (short for fuck-me pumps, because when you walked around in them you looked like Whorehouse Wonder Bitch). I shimmied into a low-cut black knit dr...
Everyone in the room was silent for a moment. Annie stared openmouthed at the man beneath her. So he’d noticed her after all. Her ego moved up a notch. Not that he was her type, mind you. Not that she...
Every time I turn around, Short Stuff got his nose in my business. But
Emerson found a smaller length of rope, wrapped it around Riley’s waist, tied it in a knot, and passed it between her legs. How do you feel? Emerson asked her. Like I’m wearing a rope thong. That’s an...
Embarrassing as it was to admit, I was beginning to enjoy the role, thinking there was nothing like packing a pair of cuffs to put some spring into a woman's step.
Eleanor Krautz pushed her way through the crowd and stage-whispered to Grandma, Who's the hottie with your granddaughter?That's Ranger, Grandma stage-whispered back at Eleanor. I don't think Stephanie...
Do you know how to pilot a yacht? she asked.No, I don't, but I thought it would be fun to try it in pitch-black darkness in the middle of the Flores Sea, Nick said, smiling. They light up the island,...
Do you have someone watching her house? (Stephanie)That kind of surveillance only happens in the movies. We’re so underbudgeted we’re one step away fromholding bake sales to pay for toilet paper. (Mor...
Diesel was about to place the cockroach on the casket, and my purse rocked out with Thriller again. Excuse me, I said. And I answered my phone. I’m beginning to appreciate Hatchet, Wulf said to Diesel...