Diesel rocked back on his heels and grinned at the monkey. Carl? Eep! The monkey stood, squinted at Diesel, and gave him the finger. Looks like you know each other, I said. Our paths crossed in Trento...
Diesel is back, Ranger said.Yes. How did you know?I woke uo with a migraine this morning, Ranger said.
Did you bring the charms? Wulf asked Diesel. Diesel took the charms from his pocket and held them in his palm so Wulf could see. They have an excellent selection of baby carriages at Target, I whisper...
Dear Lord,' Lula said, 'Bless this disgusting, swelled-up groundhog and take him into the Kingdom of Heaven or wherever it is that dead groundhogs are supposed to go. Amen.' We both made the sign of t...
DeAngelo blew up my bus, so I filled his car with shit. Genius, right?DeAngelo didn't blow up the bus, Connie said. I just got the report from the fire marshal. The coffeemaker shorted out and started...
Dang, Grandma said, guess I left the wrong hole empty. She leaned forward to examine her handiwork. Not bad for my first time with a gun. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy.
Criminy, Emerson. That’s even worse, Riley said. Who asks someone he’s just met if she’d like to see his thimbles? That’s serial killer creepy. Emerson
Connie handed me the check and plucked at a clump of mascara hanging at the end of her left eyelash. I’m telling you, it’s fucking hard to be classy, she said.
Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.
But I could end up in prison. He waved off her concern. I’d break you out. You’d do that for me? You’re my daughter, aren’t you? Kate smiled. Sure, he’d missed a lot of Christmases and birthdays durin...
Bummer, Glo said. Do you want me to say some words? I’m an ordained minister. I even have a certificate. What church? I asked her. The Church of the Barley Goddess. I don’t think that’s a real church....
Babe, Ranger said, wrapping his arms around me, gathering me close to him.
Babe! Ranger shouted from the bathroom. Come get your grandmother.
At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable...
As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
As a backup, I intended to get a quart of defense spray. I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can.
Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
And here's the good part: He got a tongue could measure twenty-one inches. Bet Mrs. Giraffe likes that one.
Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients? Let me think about that for a nanosecond, Dickie said. Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me. That's an exaggeration. Maim y...
Almost everything on Craigslist paid more than I was making, but my qualifications were sketchy. I had a college degree in liberal arts. That and a dollar could get me a soda.