Janet Evanovich Quotes

Gus gave me a list of ice cream orders. You can read, right? Yep. I always gotta ask these days.

I had a long history of calamitous mishaps.

Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.-Lula

It says here she held up a Frito-Lay truck? Apparently she was on that no-carbohydrate diet, got her period and snapped when she saw the truck parked in front of a convenience store. Just got whacked...

In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and woman's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.

This is a little awkward, I said, but my mother just ran over the rabbit.Ran over?As in roadkill. We're not sure what to do about it.Where are you?Giovichinni's, buying lunch meat.And the rabbit?Gone....

I have people trying to kill me. A giraffe is low on my list of disturbances.

Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch

Ranger released my ponytail but kept a hand on my neck. I tried to act calm, but his touch was humming through me all the way to my toes and points in between.

Ranger raised my bruised and bloody wrist to his mouth and kissed it. I’m sorry to have to do this to you, but there

Ranger leaned closer and lowered his voice.

Changed back into my comfy T-shirt advertising beer, crawled into bed, and switched the light off. I woke up at sunrise with Ranger next to me. Naked. No surprise there. Ranger always slept naked.

Carton and sleep in my bed. Maybe I can arrest him for

This here’s the twenty-first century. Just ’cause we’re women don’t mean we can’t be sick as men.

It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due.Carl Costanza - Seven Up

RANGER WAS DRIVING a black Porsche Carrera. He was wearing black cargo pants,

It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum

Babe, nothing’s been happening in my bed, and no one’s going to see your underpants in this meeting unless you go goofy.

Came through the mail,