Drawn, eyes wide. Holy Toledo, she said. I called everyone I could think of while I was driving, Sally said.
Changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the base of my neck. Without turning I knew it was Ranger.
Zook peeked into the living room. This house has high speed Internet, right? Sure, we got cable, Grandma said. We’re not in the Stone Age here. I blog and everything.
You’re going to send me down first? I thought you would want to go down first. I want to go down never.
Your cousin Maureen just got a job at the button factory. They're probably still hiring.Helen Plum
You would let nine million dollars sit under this concrete?''Yeah.' He toed the concrete. 'I like my floor. The guys did a good job on it. It's nice and smooth.''If we got married and you died, I'd ha...
You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
You shouldn’t be driving, Morelli said to Kloughn. I know, Kloughn said. I tried walking, but I was too drunk. It’s okay. I was driving very slooooowly and ’sponsibly.
You fainted, I told Tank.I did not, Tank said. That's a lie.
You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.
You can’t be mad at me, Ranger said. I’m cute. I might even be adorable.
You can trust a woman who likes s’mores, I said. It’s the gooey factor.
Yeah, but I want to take a look at your little peashooter. It's kinda cute.It's a gun, Brenda said.Lula pulled her Glock out of her bag and aimed it at Brenda. Bitch, this is a gun. It could put a hol...
Yeah, I’m a classy guy. Ranger scooped up a handful of popcorn. A little girl’s life is at stake. That doesn’t leave much room for ego and turf wars.
Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
White lies are a gray area,
When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with...
When in dread, my rule was always to procrastinate.
When I was young, I got a lot of tattoos, and now they don’t look so good. One time, I got drunk and got Eisenhower tattooed on my balls, but now he looks like Orville Redenbacher.
What’s on your bucket list? I asked. I got six things so far, Grandma said. First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess.