Janet Evanovich Quotes

Jeez, Dougie, I said, I thought you were dead. Naw, I just wished I was dead. My dad got transferred to Arkansas, so I went with them, but I’m telling you, Arkansas was no place for me. No action, you...

I’m thinking about getting a computer so I can have cybersex, Grandma said. Anybody know how that works? You go into a chat room, Valerie said. And you meet someone. And then you type dirty suggestion...

Diesel sucked air. You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.I'm not fondling you. I'm looking for the keys!Could you look a little more gently? You're scaring my boys.

Peripatetic

I was pressed for time, so all I was able to whip up was deviled eggs with a dollop of Tsar Nicoulai caviar on top, a selection of fruit and artisanal cheeses, and sauteed Dover sole with lemon and ca...

My fear was that I’d oversleep, and when Ranger broke into my apartment to wake me up, I’d drag him into bed with me. And then what would I tell Joe?

It was a Geek Squad badge from Best Buy.

My feeling is if God wanted me to pick up dog poop he would have made it look like diamonds and smell like roses.

That shooting gave me an appetite, she said. Somebody pass

You had a strange childhood. Everyone’s childhood is strange. It prepares you for the strangeness of adulthood.

Do it with the bandaged hand, so he had the

Uh oh, Lula said. Here comes Officer Hottie, and he don’t look happy. Morelli moved behind me and curled his fingers into the back of my jacket collar. I need to talk to you . . . outside. I wouldn’t...

Sally looked over at him. What, are you homophobic?Nope, Morelli said. I'm Italian. There's a difference.

Porsche Cayenne. It was his personal fleet car. Very luxe but equipped with ankle restraints bolted onto the

What’s on your bucket list? I asked. I got six things so far, Grandma said. First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess.

Haunches, looking dejected. Where’s the other monkey? I asked him. Carl looked up. The monkey was in a tree. What’s he doing there? Carl shrugged. This was a stupid idea, I said to Diesel. Yeah, but a...

I’m not driving you anymore, Lula said to me. Every time I take you somewhere, people shoot at us. Not every time.

Thank God for small favors.

Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.

Stephanie Plum, psycho bait.