These small, everyday actions had their own value; the pressure of my daily habits would mold my future. These habits were little things on their own, but their combined weight was massive. I thought...
There’s no magic formula—not for ourselves, and not for the people around us. We won’t make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other people’s habits, even the habits of geniuses; we mus...
There are times in the lives of most of us, observed William Edward Hartpole Lecky, when we would have given all the world to be as we were but yesterday, though that yesterday had passed over us unap...
The words of the writer Colette had haunted me for years: What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.
The second reason rewards pose a danger for habits is that they require a decision. A habit, by my definition, is something we do without decision making.
The fact is, while some habits are almost unbreakable, some habits remain fragile, even after years. We must guard against anything that might weaken a valuable habit. Every added link in the chain st...
See the child you have, as the saying goes, not the child you wish you had. In the end, I agreed with Michel de Montaigne: The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful;...
Research—and my own experience—suggests that the less we indulge in something, the less we want it. When we believe that a craving will remain unsatisfied, it may diminish; cravings are more provoked...
Rather than striving for a particular level of possessions—minimal or otherwise—it’s helpful to think about getting rid of what’s superfluous. Even people who prefer to own many possessions enjoy thei...
Questionable Assumption Loophole: We make assumptions that influence our habits—often, not for the better—and many of those assumptions become less convincing under close scrutiny. A reader posted a g...
Pushing myself, I knew, would cause me serious discomfort. It's a Secret of Adulthood: Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy. When I thought about why I was sometimes reluctant to push myself,...
People’s biggest worries include financial anxiety, health concerns, job insecurity, and having to do tiring and boring chores.
One day, I’d stop twisting my hair, and wearing running shoes all the time, and eating exactly the same food every day. I’d remember my friends’ birthdays, I’d learn Photoshop, I wouldn’t let my daugh...
Once I’ve spelled out the problem in words, the greater clarity usually helps me to spot a solution.
Obligers may struggle to monitor unless someone is checking on them.
Now that I know I’m an Upholder, an Abstainer, a Marathoner, a Finisher, and a Lark, and have spent a lot of time thinking about what is, and isn’t, important to me, I’m much better able to shape my h...
My ambition, however, was also a factor in leaving the law. I'd become convinced that passion was a critical factor in professional success... I could see that in my co-clerks at the Supreme Court: th...
Moral Licensing Loophole: In moral licensing, we give ourselves permission to do something bad (eat potato chips, bust the budget) because we’ve been good. We reason that we’ve earned it or deserve it...
Money. It’s a good servant but a bad master.
Keep it simple' wasn't always the right response. Many things that boosted my happiness also added complexity to my life. Having children. Learning to post videos to my website. Going to an out-of-tow...