Studies show that if you reward people for doing an activity, they often stop doing it for fun; being paid turns it into work. Parents, for example, are warned not to reward children for reading—they’...
In an interview in the Paris Review, novelist and Rebel John Gardner made an observation that I’ve never forgotten: Every time you break the law you pay, and every time you obey the law you pay.
In general, happiness doesn’t make people want to drink daiquiris on the beach; it makes them want to help rural villagers gain better access to clean water.
How a couple fights matters more than how much they fight.
UPHOLDER/Obligers must be sure to articulate inner expectations and to create boundaries to protect inner expectations from outer interference.
Think about appearances. I wanted my apartment to be less cluttered, and also to look less cluttered.
Upholders may struggle in situations where expectations aren't clear or the rules aren't established. They may feel compelled to meet expectations, even ones that seem pointless. They may feel uneasy...
Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong.
My ambition, however, was also a factor in leaving the law. I'd become convinced that passion was a critical factor in professional success... I could see that in my co-clerks at the Supreme Court: th...
Novelist Jean Rhys observed, One is born either to go with or to go against.
Once I’ve cleared away the things I don’t need, use, or love, my surroundings reveal to me, and to others, the things that matter most to me. Careful curation means that my space and my possessions re...
One lives in the naïve notion that later there will be more room than in the entire past. —Elias Canetti, The Human Province
One study estimated that for every hour of interrupted sleep during the previous night, people wasted 8.4 minutes in online puttering
When dealing with a child who refuses to meet an expectation, it’s important to try to understand the reason for that child’s behavior. While a Rebel child might think, You can’t make me, a Questioner...
The fact is, while some habits are almost unbreakable, some habits remain fragile, even after years. We must guard against anything that might weaken a valuable habit. Every added link in the chain st...
Is surprising how soon a desire will die of inanition if it be never fed.
There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision, and for whom the lighting of every cigar, the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed eve...
Overbuyers, by contrast, find excuses to buy. They accumulate large quantities of office supplies or kitchen gadgets or travel paraphernalia with the thought This will probably come in handy someday....
People take less food when using tongs, instead of spoons, to serve themselves.
People who feel less guilt and who show compassion toward themselves in the face of failure are better able to regain self-control, while people who feel deeply guilty and full of self-blame struggle...
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