Fran Lebowitz Quotes

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

My favorite animal is steak.

Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.

Now, nature, as I am only too aware, has her enthusiasts, but on the whole, I am not to be counted among them. To put it bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.