Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adult...
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, sim...
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
The opposite of talking is not listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.