What are you, tap dancing up there? You want a put on a show, do you? Well, the theater's closed for the night. Take your act on the road; it's four o'clock in the morning,goddamnit.
I thought of those people on the bus, going from one shitty place to the next, expecting nothing to change but the landscape. Soon I’d be sitting beside them, sharing my potato chips and thinking of t...
This is a busy week with me and lunatics, whom I tend to see as either signs or messengers.
The people I hung out with in my early twenties were middle-class and, at least to our minds, artistic. We’d all turned our backs on privilege, but comfortably, the way you can when you still have acc...
She knew what my mother did not: either you want a clean floor or you want to use a mop, but you can’t have both.
The word phobic has its place when properly used, but lately it's been declawed by the pompous insistence that most animosity is based upon fear rather than loathing.... I hate computers. My hatred is...
Making it worse, I had to sit through another endless preview for Titanic. Who do they think is going to see that movie?
Identify
Yesterday a woman had her son pee into a cup, which of course tipped over. That’s fine, I said, but Santa’s also going to need a stool sample.
What you call your personality, you know?—it’s not the actual bones, or teeth, something solid. It’s more like a flame. A flame can be upright, and a flame can flicker in the wind, a flame can be exti...
I wanted it, I wanted it, I wanted it, but the moment it was mine, it ceased to interest me.
Built around 1780... a two-hour train ride from Paris... the neighbor keeps his horses in my backyard... pies made with apples from my own trees...I caught the highlights of Hugh's broadcast and under...
I was still hoping that it might be a phase, that I'd wake up the next day and be normal. In the best of times, it seemed like such a short leap. I did fantasize about having a girlfriend—never the se...
If you think too hard about anything it’s bound to take the fun out of it.
They did not live in a child’s house, we lived in theirs.
While the builders worked on the cottage, Hugh lived in what used to be the stable but was later converted into a guesthouse, the kind you’d have if you wanted to either discourage guests or contain t...
When someone makes a spectacular ass of himself, it's always in a French restaurant, never a Japanese or Italian one. The French are the people who slap one another with gloves and wear scarves to cov...
The squirrel and the chipmunk had been dating for two weeks when they ran out of things to talk about.
The way I saw it, if my students were willing to pretend I was a teacher, the least I could do was return the favor and pretend that they were writers.
He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father.He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples.He nice, the Jesus.
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