When shit brings you down, just say ‘fuck it,’ and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.)
It’s not lost on me that I’m so busy recording life, I don’t have time to really live it.
La momentul respectiv, Bob sapa morminte, o cariera care denota o lipsa imbucuratoare de ambitie.
If I'd been burned alive because of bad grades, my parents would have killed me, especially my father, who meant well but was just a little too gung ho for my taste.
Shopping has nothing to do with money. If you have it, you go to stores and galleries, and if not, you haunt flea markets or Goodwills. Never, though, do you not do it, choosing instead to visit a par...
The houses looked like something a child might draw, a row of shaky squares with triangles on top. Add a door, add two windows. Think of putting a tree in the front yard, and then decide against it be...
She regarded her grandchildren as if we were savings bonds, something certain to multiply in value through the majesty of arithmetic. Ya Ya and her husband had produced one child, who in turn had yiel...
Well, think about it, he said. Exposing yourself to a girl is one thing. Doing it to a boy, though—the guy would have to be perverted.
Were they to charge you ten cents per napkin, they would undoubtedly make them much thinner so you'd need to waste even more in order to fight back the piping hot geyser forever spouting from the litt...
Like many good biography subjects, she became a mess toward the end of her life.
Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.
In fact, there are only two kinds of flights: ones in which you die and ones in which you do not.
Mr. Mancini had a singular talent for making me uncomfortable. He forced me to consider things I’d rather not think about – the sex of my guitar, for instance. If I honestly wanted to put my hands on...
If you don’t think a mental patient has the right to bring a sawed-off shotgun to the church where his ex-girlfriend is getting married, you’re part of the problem.
I hate computers. My hatred is entrenched, and I nourish it daily. I’m comfortable with it, and no community outreach program will change my mind. I hate computers for getting their own section in the...
We give anonymously because the sackfuls of thank-you letters break our hearts with their clumsy handwriting and hopeless phonetic spelling.
Have a blessed day. This can make you feel like you’ve been sprayed against your will with God cologne.
I don’t know why it was, exactly, but nothing irritated my father quite like the sound of his children’s happiness. Group crying, he could stand, but group laughing was asking for it, especially at th...
آدمها به آن اندازهای که مهربان هستند احمق نیستند!
I would later discover it was a bad idea to gather more than two of these people in an enclosed area for any length of time. The stage was not only a physical place but also a state of mind, and the w...
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