Nobody dreams of the things he already has.
It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters.
It was one of those situations I often find myself in while traveling. Something's said by a stranger I've been randomly thrown into contact with, and I want to say, Listen. I'm with you on most of th...
I'd think it strange that the boardinghouse attracted both him and me, but that's what cheap places do -- draw in people with no money. An apartment of my own was unthinkable at that time of my life,...
That’s what fantasies are for: they allow you to skip the degradation and head straight to the top.
Today the teacher told us that a ripe Camembert should have the same consistency as a human eyebrow.
The next summer we went to France for six weeks, and I added another 420 words, most of them found in the popular gossip magazine, ‘Voici’. Man-eater, I’d say. Gold digger, roustabout, louse.Who are y...
Shopping has nothing to do with money. If you have it, you go to stores and galleries, and if not, you haunt flea markets or Goodwills.
Shopping has nothing to do with money. If you have it, you go to stores and galleries, and if not, you haunt flea markets or Goodwills. Never, though, do you not do it, choosing instead to visit a par...
She’d never expressed any great interest in the outdoors, so I scattered her remains on the carpet and then vacuumed her back up.
She knew what my mother did not: either you want a clean floor or you want to use a mop, but you can’t have both.
Leeches are singing in my asshole.
I realized I was a teacher when I felt warm during class and got up to open the door. Later on there was noise in the hallway, so I got up and shut it. Students can't open and close the door whenever...
Faced with an exciting question, science tended to provide the dullest possible answer.
Every day we're told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it's always stated as an undeniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure sixty by...
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous,...
Then I must have dropped off. It wasn’t much later that I awoke—the story of my life since my mate passed away. I get tired, wiped out, even, but can’t seem to sleep more than a few hours at a stretch...
Didn’t need a fifteen-minute conversation, just some human interaction. It can be had, and easily: a gesture, a joke, something that says, I live in this world too.
What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for...
Walking twenty-five miles, or even running up the stairs and back, suddenly seemed pointless, since without the steps being counted and registered, what use were they?