Time is cruel to everything but seems to have singled out eyeglasses for special punishment. What looks good now is guaranteed to embarrass you twenty years down the line, which is, of course, the who...
This was for me one of those adult moments involving a choice. Do you shrug your shoulders and say, I couldn’t get it to work either, or do you tell the woman she spent the weekend trying to open a wi...
This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn’t work. I’ve tried it.
These tabloids only want to exploit. They don’t understand this woman and her life. They don’t understand you, let alone someone like me. If you want my opinion, they’re nothing but savages and we’d b...
These people were the only contact I had outside of the men and women who picked me up hitchhiking back and forth to work every day. I’d arrive at the shop, listen to Christian radio, get blessed out...
There were no computers in my high school, and the first two times I attempted college, people were still counting on their fingers and removing their shoes when the numbers got above ten.
Then he reached to an even higher shelf and brought down another plastic grocery bag, this one from Tesco, which is decidedly less upscale. Now, a smell is going to hit you when I open this up, but do...
Their house had real hard-cover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
The woman had decided that I was a hard-ass, one of those guys who refuse under any circumstances to do anyone a favor. But it's not true. I just prefer that the favor be idea, and that it leaves me...
The two of you grew apart,' my mother would say. She made it sound as if we'd veered off in different directions, though in fact we had the exact same destination. I just never made it.
The thing about Hawaii, at least the part that is geared toward tourists, is that it’s exactly what it promises to be. Step off the plane, and someone places a lei around your neck, as if it were some...
The rules were just different back then, especially in regard to corporal punishment. Not only could you hit your own children, but you could also hit other people’s.
The real life of the party is flattened beneath the bed, taping actual sex encounters, not sitting cross-legged on the floor with a guitar, embarrassing himself and others.
The crummy part of swimming is that while you’re doing it you can’t really see much: the bottom of the pool, certainly, a smudged and fleeting bit of the outside world as you turn your head to breathe...
The better country club operated on the principle that Raleigh mattered, that its old families were fine ones, and that they needed a place where they could enjoy one another’s company without being p...
The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
Strip to your underwear, she told me, and I said, D’accord. As the woman turned to leave, she said something else, and, looking back, I really should have asked her to repeat it, to draw a picture if...
Someone stopped Mitch on the street last night and said, I need another seventy-five cents so I can buy a cheeseburger. How about helping me? Mitch said, Get it without the cheese, and continued walki...
So which do you like better,State or Carolina? She was referring to the athletic rivalry between the Triangle area's two largest universities...Definitely State. State all the way.
Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires.