David Sedaris Quote

One afternoon while driving back from the beach, Hugh pointed out a McDonald's bag vomiting its contents onto the pavement. I say that any company whose products are found on the ground automatically has to go out of business, he said. This is how we talk nowadays, as if our pronouncements hold actual weight and can be implemented at our discretion, like we're kings or warlocks. That means no more McDonald's, no more Coke - none of it.That wouldn't affect you any,I told him. Hugh doesn't drink soda or eat Big Macs. But what if it was something you needed, like paint? I find buckets of it in the woods all the time.Fine, he said. Get rid of it. I'll make my own.If anyone could make his own paint, it would be Hugh.What about brushes?Please, he said, and he shifted into a higher gear. I could make those in my sleep.

David Sedaris

One afternoon while driving back from the beach, Hugh pointed out a McDonald's bag vomiting its contents onto the pavement. I say that any company whose products are found on the ground automatically has to go out of business, he said. This is how we talk nowadays, as if our pronouncements hold actual weight and can be implemented at our discretion, like we're kings or warlocks. That means no more McDonald's, no more Coke - none of it.That wouldn't affect you any,I told him. Hugh doesn't drink soda or eat Big Macs. But what if it was something you needed, like paint? I find buckets of it in the woods all the time.Fine, he said. Get rid of it. I'll make my own.If anyone could make his own paint, it would be Hugh.What about brushes?Please, he said, and he shifted into a higher gear. I could make those in my sleep.

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About David Sedaris

David Raymond Sedaris (; born December 26, 1956) is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "Santaland Diaries". He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. His next book, Naked (1997), became his first of a series of New York Times Bestsellers, and his 2000 collection Me Talk Pretty One Day won the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Much of Sedaris's humor is ostensibly autobiographical and self-deprecating and often concerns his family life, his middle-class upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, his Greek heritage, homosexuality, jobs, education, drug use, and obsessive behaviors, as well as his life in France, London, New York, and the South Downs in England. He is the brother and writing collaborator of actress Amy Sedaris.
In 2019, Sedaris was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters.