Jealousy makes you feel bad, but God is jealous, so it must be good. Yet when a dog licks its balls it seems to enjoy it, but it must be bad under the law.
You're trying to be tricky. What's morality?""It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize.""Must be a human thing.""Exactly.
…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.
This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
The constable lit the bong and lost himself in the scuba bubbles of sweet comforting smoke.
It’s a note. Let me read it for you. ‘Couldn’t anyone else see that they were all slaves of Satan? I had to cleanse the world of their evil. I am the hand of God. Why else would security have let me i...
It’s French, she said. They designed it like a zoo—you know, keep ’em in, but give everyone a good look at ’em...
No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-...
He was a LEPER, you idiot! Not a leopard.
That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?
She changed your oil and put the chill on you all in one night?
Ten salespeople, all young, all dressed in generic cotton casual, looked up from their conversations, spotted the money in her hand, and simultaneously stopped breathing-their brains shutting down bod...
The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.
LOST 2 Irish Hellhounds. Very black, like bear. Huge, like bear. Answer to Alvin and Mohammed. Like to eat everything. Like bear! REWARD!
Oh, that’s heinous fuckery most foul, said Kona.
Slowly and gently, Augustus Brine explained to the king of the Djinn about the illusion created by motion pictures. When he finished, he felt like he had just raped the tooth fairy in front of a class...
Sweet Pocket, you mustn’t ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you. Sweet Thalia, said I. That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.
It’s a yeti, said Gaspar from behind me, obviously having been roused from his trance. An abominable snowman. This is what happens when you fuck a sheep!? I exclaimed. Not an abomination, Josh said, a...
True, but there was a plaque depicted in the painting, hung around the figure's neck, and on it was writing in Sumerian cuneiform. As you know, in addition to my other studies, I am an amateur necroli...
You've always been broken, love, it's the crux of your character.
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