“ Dessert was an over baked chocolate chip cookies the size of a hockey puck and just about as tasty. Carl Hiaasen
“ So for a while, they sat peacefully in the swamp, listening to Mrs. Starch hum while the little panther slurped happily and the emerald leaves overhead shimmered and shook in the sunlight. Carl Hiaasen
“ That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a romp.… Carl Hiaasen
“ GRASS, LIKE NEARLY EVERYTHING else in China, is subject to political interpretation. Historically, the Chinese have taken a dim view of grass. In Peking’s parks, the dirt is swept daily, since cleanli… Carl Hiaasen
“ Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it. Carl Hiaasen
“ From the pocket of her windbreaker he extracted what he falsely believed to be a portable marine radio, which along with two granola bars he'd pilfered from Honey's belongings after she was snatched b… Carl Hiaasen
“ My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox. Carl Hiaasen
“ Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence. Carl Hiaasen
“ The classroom fell quiet, a long heavy silence that roared in Roy's ears like a train. Carl Hiaasen
“ Here's my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the credit card and then they look at the name on the book jacket, then there's this look of such pr… Carl Hiaasen
“ As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers. Carl Hiaasen
“ I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. Carl Hiaasen
“ I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness. Carl Hiaasen
“ Wouldn't it be a treat, Chaz thought, to have just one goddamn day when nobody fucked with my head? Carl Hiaasen
