Debbie Downer" was one of the few sketches where I broke, and I remember watching Heratio Sanz laugh so hard that tears squirted out of his eyes. I still believe that sketch may be a cure for low-leve...
Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt,...
Both conservatives and liberals watch 'Parks and Recreation,' and they each think the show is for them, which is really cool. 'SNL' was totally different. It was exciting because everyone was paying a...
I cannot stress enough that the answer to life's questions is often in people's faces. Try putting your iPhones down once in a while, and look in people's faces. People's faces will tell you amazing t...
Improvisation is almost like the retarded cousin in the comedy world. We've been trying forever to get improvisation on TV. It's just like stand-up. It's best when it's just left alone. It doesn't tra...
We kept our heads down and did our jobs. We controlled the only thing we could, which was the show. We did the thing. Because remember, the talking about the thing isn't the thing. The doing of the th...
There's something so romantic about being broke in New York. You gotta do it. You have to live there once without any money, and then you have to live there when you have money. Let me tell you, of th...
I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means someone's passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn't mind leading.
I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody's passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn't mind leading.
Is there a word for when you are young and pretending to have lived and loved a thousand lives? Is there a German word for that? Let's say its schaufenfrieglasploit.
Treat your career like a bad boyfriend. Your career wont take care of you. It won't call you back or introduce you to its parents. Your career will openly flirt with other people while you are around.
I also think if you're an actor and you can improvise, when you go on an audition and you can improvise you're just a genius. If you can, you know, take a Tide commercial and you can just say one funn...
You are all so good and I wish I were better. Now get out of here because I want to be where you are.
Motherhood was a twenty-four-hour-a-day, all-encompassing job. It was the hardest job I ever had. Everything that happened to you [her child] happened to me. I had once heard children described in a n...
Look at this woman. This beauty. What an act of grace. What a gift she gave me.Shame makes people abandon their children and drink themselves to death. It also keeps us from true happiness. An apology...
That voice that talks badly to you is a demon voice. This very patient and determined demon shows up in your bedroom one day and refuses to leave. You are six or twelve or fifteen and you look in the...
Ignore what other people think. Most people aren't even paying attention to you.
I would dance all day in my basement listening to Off the Wall. You young people really don’t understand how magical Michael Jackson was. No one thought he was strange. No one was laughing. We were al...