Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Grief is an artist of powers as various as the instruments upon which he plays his dirges for the dead, evoking from some the sharpest, shrillest notes, from others the low, grave chords that throb re...
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
Prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
The hardest tumble a man can take is to fall over his own bluff.
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.