“ Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered. Molly Harper
“ Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a gr… Molly Harper
“ Up until two years ago, I was one of the top-selling real estate agents in the tricounty area. I went to a convention in Boca Raton. I had one too many margaritas, met a tall, pale, and handsome man i… Molly Harper
“ Because daytime leaves vampires less than, well, conscious, I told him, “Take your muffins to Boston and shut it, Terrance.” And then I hung up on him. Molly Harper
“ I would have taken Zeb, purely for entertainment value, but he had an actual date, with a real girl. That hadn't happened in a while, so I was a good friend and put my own needs second to the possibil… Molly Harper
“ We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it was the combination of Keanu Reeves's British accent and Gary Ol… Molly Harper
“ Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious! Molly Harper
“ I offered you a choice, and you took it."I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrh… Molly Harper
“ Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like… Molly Harper
“ Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?""Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because… Molly Harper
“ Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone.""If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a… Molly Harper
“ Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends.""You're a twisted little man.""Come on, Stretch, share with the class.""No!" I laughed."Prude.""Perv.""Schoolmarm… Molly Harper
“ You want to stab me again, don't you?"He didn't look at all ashamed. "Think of it as testing the limits of your new abilities."I groaned. "I've created a monster.""I don't think someone who recently c… Molly Harper
“ Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students. Molly Harper
“ And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have… Molly Harper
“ Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? Molly Harper
“ I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian."He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a cal… Molly Harper
“ Not one word about proposals, no matter how much she pushes,” I told my friends. “No matter what she says or how loud she cries, don’t try to throw that up as a distraction.”Gabriel’s lips twitched. “… Molly Harper
“ Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory. Molly Harper
