Top Humor Quotes

In 1881, being on a visit to Boston, my wife and I found ourselves in the Parker House with the 's, and went over to Charleston to hear him lecture. His subject was 'Some Mistakes of Moses,' and it wa...

Most people do not mind dying, as long as that does not happen today.

Humor Definition

(n.) Moisture, especially, the moisture or fluid of animal bodies, as the chyle, lymph, etc.; as, the humors of the eye, etc.

(n.) A vitiated or morbid animal fluid, such as often causes an eruption on the skin.

(n.) State of mind, whether habitual or temporary (as formerly supposed to depend on the character or combination of the fluids of the body); disposition; temper; mood; as, good humor; ill humor.

(n.) Changing and uncertain states of mind; caprices; freaks; vagaries; whims.

(n.) That quality of the imagination which gives to ideas an incongruous or fantastic turn, and tends to excite laughter or mirth by ludicrous images or representations; a playful fancy; facetiousness.

(v. t.) To comply with the humor of; to adjust matters so as suit the peculiarities, caprices, or exigencies of; to adapt one's self to; to indulge by skillful adaptation; as, to humor the mind.

(v. t.) To help on by indulgence or compliant treatment; to soothe; to gratify; to please.

If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

I'm the G when you spell OG

Richard Feynman was fond of giving the following advice on how to be a genius. You have to keep a dozen of your favorite problems constantly present in your mind, although by and large they will lay i...

What a paradox it is, the sane causes more problems than the insane! It is! The real problems of the world do not come from the insane but, the sane!

What's another word for Thesaurus?

A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.

Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.

A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.

Justice will prevail!

Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to give someone or some people a curable STD.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Government" Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.

Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.

In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.

Society is composed of two great classes those who have more dinners than appetite, and those who have more appetite than dinners.

Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.

Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he earns; and many a man would not be in a relationship with or married to his woman, if he earned twi...