Top Funny Quotes

Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl.

The choices that women make sometimes seems provoking and at the same time amusing. I once met a lady who said she liked my amusing facial expression.

Funny Definition

(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.

(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.

Millions of sane people would each be sexually attracted to their own parent or child if they were not related to them.

Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.

Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.

That was 1993 grunge in suburbia. This was 2003 hell in Harlem. (Dark City Lights)

Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal than the elderly.

Some men are so indoctrinated that they sincerely believe that other than cooking and cleaning the only thing that a woman can do better than them is being a woman.

Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their overconfidence reminds them of their underconfidence.

You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.

A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

We were talking about the prince,' Sansa said, her voice soft as a kiss.Arya knew which prince she meant: Joffrey, of course. The tall, handsome one. Sansa got to sit with him at the feast. Arya had t...

We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.

Christians sometimes make themselves into elephants afraid of mice. You have the Creator of the universe on your side; not to mention, you've been given eternal life. 'Whom or what shall you fear?' To...

To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.

Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.

Though Alec had never seen the occupants of the first floor loft, they seemed to be engaged in a tempestuous romance. Once there had been a bunch of someone's belongings strewn all over the landing wi...