“ I should mention, by the way, that LVR stands for Luminal Velocity Regulator. I suppose it could also stand for Large Venezeulan Rats, but in this case it does not. Cuthbert Soup
“ I just don't know what I'd do without a brain, Simone!" I say. "I mean, what's a person without one? Randa Abdel-Fattah
“ An hour later, a nameless, cold-faced man returned with a tray of fresh pasta, warm bread, and a few bags of brand new comfort clothes: yoga pants, tees, a few sports bras, and...pink thong underwear?… Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
“ One of the fundamental rights of mankind should be that of wearing as many or as few clothes as one likes inside one's own home. Sachin Kundalkar
“ Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not. Cuthbert Soup
“ Same as you, Arthur. I hitched a ride. After all, with a degree in maths and another in astrophysics it was either that or back to the dole queue on Monday. Sorry I missed the Wednesday lunch date, bu… Douglas Adams
“ I don't know,' he said irritably. 'Is it meant to improve you?'She swiveled toward him, eyes wide with shock.'Because nothing could,' he added. Her mouth dropped in astonishment. Blotchy scarlet rushe… Julie Anne Long
“ Zen cuts straight through the Quidditch match in progress and almost gets taken down by a Beater hurling a Nerf quaffle right at his machopartes. Megan McCafferty
“ The ones who constantly make us laugh are the hardest of friends to know - for comedians are the caricatures among us. Criss Jami
“ Well, well, well," said Aitch Dee, his arms folded across his chest. "Well, well, well, well," replied Pavel, not to be out welled. Cuthbert Soup
“ You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves. Cuthbert Soup
“ I had to say it gave me a warm feeling to picture Meredith Winslow spending twenty years or so in an ill fitting orange jumpsuit, cozying up to a great big girl named Beulah Kate Carlisle
“ Advice to explorers everywhere: if you would like to recieve due credit for your discoveries, keep a detailed account of your journeys as Columbus did. On Septemeber 28, 1492, after four weeks at sea,… Cuthbert Soup
“ The x-ray of your skull shows a large, flobby mass floating inside. I have to consult my colleagues to be certain, but it looks like a long sausage snarled into a lump. Benson Bruno
“ Just this past summer, I took online courses in introductory logic and law through civilization. Often the weight of history, with its facts heaped upon facts requiring complex chains of inference to… Benson Bruno
“ Especially well known around the office is my weakness for dyspareunist women. Most people would find such disparity in unity repelling, but it harmonizes perfectly with my personal tastes. Benson Bruno
“ I don’t have any regrets,” a famous movie actor said in an interview I recently witnessed. “I’d live everything over exactly the same way.” “That’s really pathetic,” the talk show host said. “Are you… Benson Bruno
“ Men were good for one thing only. Killing spiders. Other than that, I was on my own. It was sad though. Where was the chivalry of yesteryear? Kate Carlisle
