“ I cannot go to school todaySaid little Peggy Ann McKay.I have the measles and the mumps,A gash, a rash and purple bumps.My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.I'm going blind in my right eye.My tonsils are… Shel Silverstein
“ Great, Shane said. Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners. Rachel Caine Black Dawn
“ Can you be a girl for a few seconds?I'm always a girl I frown.You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girlI twirl my hair around my finger. Kay. Veronica Roth
“ I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getti… Brooke Nevin
“ I love being in a public space where teenagers are talking. And the funny thing is that it hasn't changed that much. There's certainly slang that I'm not familiar with, but among the average teen, it'… Marti Noxon
“ So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. Joseph Bologna
“ All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I lov… Rickie Fowler
“ I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get… Kurt Fuller
“ You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. Katie Nolan
“ Writing humor for me is more like a watchful-ness. You have to watch. When you say something funny, or someone else does, it's more like you wait for the piece. Ian Frazier
“ I have a really dry sense of humor. I don't think it's funny when people wink at the camera. That's more of an actor thing, just committing to whatever the thing is. Topher Grace
“ Humor, for me, is really a gate of departure. It's a way of enticing a reader into a poem so that less funny things can take place later. It really is not an end in itself, but a means to an end. Billy Collins
“ But at the time I thought that if I could just get the world to see me the way I saw myself then my body wouldn't be the thing you walked away thinking about. I wouldn't be that fat girl. Gabourey Sidibe
“ There is no such complicated situation which people could not make more complicated. Eraldo Banovac
“ The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA. The Covert Comic
“ I slowly climbed the porch steps while wondering, what exactly did Elias know about my life in London; what precisely was wrong with his mind...And what was the heaviest item in my bag. Jonathan Friesen
“ It's not that I can't express myself,it's that I still feel present when I'm not expressing myself. Kim Myungsoo
