she: Before we got married you told me you were well-off. he: I was and I didn't know it.
All mothers are slightly insane.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
Black graffiti on a black helicopter.
Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn't easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels.
Every Friday is black where I work.
Ever notice that phrenologists have funny-shaped heads?
I'd rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have time.
Science and discovery, especially in the field of non-abnormal pediatric mysteries, is built on the work of those who have been sneezed on before us. Causation and rationale may someday be reached, bu...
People say that they want to kill me. All I say is "I'm sorry but your appointment doesn't start until another hour, please sit in the waiting room.
How in the world do you tellyour wife that her mother was born a unicon?
We were kissing.I thought: This is good.I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe.Suddenly she laughed and pull...
I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin.
Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service.Shut up.Thank you.Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy.Hope your diodes rot.Thank you. Have a nice day.Stomp...
Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain
If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, on...
Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.
The funniest people are the saddest ones
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Given a choice between goose egg and heartache, I would choose heartache.
Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.