We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I...
Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to...
My size has helped make me an amazing performer too. The cliche of the Funny Fat Friend: I absolutely was that character - I am that character... It's a complicated bag of tools I acquired, and I've p...
— ¡Fuera de mi cabeza!—No puedo evitarlo. Estás transmitiendo tus pensamientos tan condenadamente fuerte, que siento que debo ir a sentarme en un rincón y comenzar a mecerme, susurrando el nombre de D...
Keep your eyes on him, you wretched vainglorious creature,
Weetzie could see him--it was a man, a little man in a turban, with a jewel in his nose, harem pants, and curly-toed slippers. Lanky Lizards! Weetzie exclaimed.Greetings, said the man in an odd voice,...
Tropical trees had been planted throughout the room, along with bright flowering plants that were busy committing the olfactory floral equivalent of aggravated assault.
Travis: I didn’t know they made permanent makeup. I looked like a clown for a month.Connor: Yeah. They put a curse on me so that no matter what I wore, my clothes were two sizes too small and I felt l...
That was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson we've ever had, wasn't it? said Ron...He seems like a very good teacher, said Hermoine approvingly. But I wish I could have had a turn with the b...
Sorry, Ian, Cameron said. He found himself saying that to Ian quite a bit. I didn't understand.Ian gave him a faint nod but didn't answer. His look told Cameron that he knew his older brother was an i...
Shit Bug said, his face sour. It's that thing again. We've been dealing with it since Pierce. You think you have a lead and then poof - he made a puffing motion with his fingers - it melts into nothin...
She put her hand on her hip. Where are you going?To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool.Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him.
Once a Buddha, always a Buddha, Sam. Dust off some of your old parables. You have about fifteen minutes.' Sam held out his hand. Give me some tobacco and a paper.
It's very important my parent's don't think I'm starting to fall in love with people, because then they might notice that I'm growing up, and I'm kind of trying to keep it a secret. I think it will ca...
It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a house or something.