“ If you want to find out if someone is a true bookworm or not, give them a thousand page novel and see what happens. E.A. Bucchianeri
“ Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. Oliver Oliver Reed
“ For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. Oliver Oliver Reed
“ Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face. Oliver Oliver Reed
“ You know why horror-movie characters always get killed? Because they've never seen horror movies. They don't know how it works. Right? But we do. So no one go into the basement alone. No one go scream… Carrie Vaughn
“ Even as zombies, ridiculous prom gowns were the downfall of teenage girls, crippling them at the knees. G.G. Silverman
“ Sadly for you, I think I'm going to live, Simi. You can stop slapping me now. I've already lost enough sense. Can't afford to lose any more brain cells. I really really need my last three before I for… Sherrilyn Kenyon
“ My mortgage isn’t getting any cheaper and I can’t run that Ferrari on faith alone," Revernd Jones said. "Don’t get me wrong, the Big Man Upstairs does what he can but I’ve never once seen him filling… Mark Jackman
“ My mortgage isn’t getting any cheaper and I can’t run that Ferrari on faith alone," Reverend Jones said. "Don’t get me wrong, the Big Man upstairs does what he can but I’ve never once seen him filling… Mark Jackman
“ Suddenly, a voice called from the darkness. Taylor leapt like a salmon, then became rooted to the spot like a tin of salmon. Mark Jackman
“ The hamster-powered hat is the same as any other hat. It keeps your head warm and looks smart,' the inventor said. 'The hamster generates heat by running on the wheel. If you get a big enough hamster,… Mark Jackman
“ If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him. Mark Jackman
“ His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of his own savings in wooden socks, an invention that never caught on… Mark Jackman
“ What’s not to love? I made friends with a pretty girl and now we get to plan a castle break in. This beats the day to day kill, eat and survive. Emilyann Girdner
