If I ever catch you performing ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen, I’ll castrate you and feed your dicks to some horses.
It doesn't matter. I've moved on from something that was never there to begin with. That's one of the dire things about escaping from childhood. Eventually you grow up and realize the things you wante...
It’s been said by many people that I look like I know what I’m doing.
Let’s watch House Hunters International and make fun of the people when they pick the worst fucking house because they always do, oh my god.
You’re the only one I trust to help me with my love life. That was the worst thing a human being has ever said to me. Don’t do it again.
Maybe you can bring that up at the next fan club meeting too.Hey! I don’t even know what you’re talking about, okay? I hear things when I’m on my travels. I don’t even care about stuff like that. I ca...
Where Tyson Meets the Man Who Becomes Helena Handbasket
My fairy drag mother. The woman who had taught me to trust myself and my instincts. Morgan could teach me magic. My parents could teach me morals. Gary and Tiggy could teach me brotherhood. But Mama t...
Normal Seven went to Heaven where he immediately tripped and fell! God said, ‘Gee you’re too Normal for me’ and sent him straight to hell!
Oh boy, the unicorn said. You do that, Robert Smith. I frowned at him. Who? The unicorn shook his head. This guy I knew. Crazy hair. Sad all the time. Used to sing about it. It got old real fast. Befo...
One of the great travesties of life is finding out porn is unrealistic.
Or not, I said as I ground my teeth. I like to masticate by myself. And you’re so good at it, Gary said. The up and down motions of your… jaw. And then, upon completion, you swallow. Right, Sam? You s...
Our eyes met like a car crash, colliding and breaking away.
What matters is to live in the present, live now, for every moment is now. —Sai Baba
Please just let me have you. Please. Nothing else matters if I can’t have you.
Queens, Charlie muttered. Can’t live with them, can’t shoot them because it would get glitter everywhere.
Xander looked toward the ceiling. I love you.Thanks, man, Josy said happily. I love you too.But I don’t like you very much right now.Oh. That’s a bummer to hear so soon after the whole love thing.
You are my son, my father said, ignoring my fierce blush. The only one God saw fit to give me. As long as you grow up to be a good man, the rest doesn’t matter. We clear?
You follow your heart because one day, it’ll lead you home.
Sorry, he muttered as he pulled it away. Sure, I said faintly. Sure. I wondered how to go about asking him to poke me with his sword again.
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