I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Men like cars women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.
My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours free Retin-A.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.