Richard Kadrey Quotes

They were the understanding eyes of kindly folk who burned witches alive to save their souls.

Quid salvum est si Roma perit? What is safe if Rome perishes?

About Author

The winners are the schemers and the ruthless who take what they want, not the suckers standing around hoping for an even break.

I come from a long line of tall-tale talkers. Our family crest is bullets over crossed fingers and underneath it says, ‘Bullshit Über Alles.

That sounds like the sin of pride, Marshal. Better run downstairs and let Miss December flog it out of you. Webcam it and charge by the minute. You won't ever have to take government money again.

Thanks, but sometimes I think my sins are the only thing holding me together

You were a prick and a crook, but no one deserves to go out the way you went. I hope it was over quick and that you tasted like ass all the way down. Amen.

Up ahead, Donut Universe shines like the Virgin Mary doing barrel rolls over Lourdes, so I head over.

If Donald Trump and the Wicked Witch of the West had a kid, it would be Jayne-Anne. She looks like a librarian with some money and good taste in clothes but underneath the Verace, she's Godzilla with...

If Jesus, Jesse James, and a herd of pink robot unicorns strolled in walking on water, this bunch wouldn't even look up.

There’s dead and there’s Hollywood dead, and those are two very different things. Dead is just dead. In the ground. Pennies on your eyes. A cold slab of meat with no slaw and definitely no dessert.

If you ever see me in a matching T-shirt with a woman—any woman—shoot me. Okay? Morty nodded. You didn’t have to ask. I’d have done it on principle. Thank you. I know a cry for help when I see it.

If you’re in the exorcism business, you must know a lot about demons. Qliphoth, he says. What? It’s the proper word for what you call a demon. A demon is a bogeyman, an irrational entity representing...

There's something magical about the sound of breaking glass. Especially around a mob. It works both for humans and Hellions. If you want to start a riot, throw a bottle.

Instead they’re crying like a school bus full of little French girls whose ice cream all melted.

We have these meetings every couple of days. We’re rebuilding Hell after it went up in flames like a flash-paper bikini when the original Lucifer, the real Lucifer, blew out of town after sticking me...

Abandon all hope ye who piss me off.

Are we in danger? he says. It depends on what you mean by ‘we.’ Am I in danger? That’s the first smart thing anyone’s said to me today. And, yes, you really are. So do what I tell you.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Then you’ll fit in just fine around here, he says.

It seemed to be going well. You see, a Qliphoth can only possess an imperfect and impure body, one that’s sinned. Of course, that describes all humans except maybe for the saints. When I eat a possess...