The universe is a meat grinder and we're just pork in designer shoes, keeping busy so we can pretend we're not all headed for the sausage factory. Maybe I've been hallucinating this whole time and the...
See? Even dead she makes me a better whatever-the-hell it is I am. A less stupid person. A more considerate monster.
It's more like how some people can't help but bring out the not necessarily righteous parts of your personality. Like how you meet someone and instantly know they're a full-time professional victim, a...
Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.
If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says.
They can talk shit about each other behind the others' backs, but when it comes down to it, money is the one true race and everyone down here is the color of greenbacks and as tall as mountains.
So, you’re the angel of Death? The angel shook his head, a little embarrassed. I don’t have that honor. In Heaven, I’m the celestial who bears the great golden quills, the silver Chroma, the holy vell...
Nothing nice happens to murdered women.
Every time stupid rich people get ripped off, it makes them feel better about hating poor people.
CANDY AND ALESSA are practicing in the storeroom. One of them is burning through Miserlou and the other sounds like she’s falling down the stairs with a boxful of cats. But she keeps playing. Good for...
Those pricks down the hall, flying high above it all on this hillside, they’re the kind of people whose faces end up on money or a new library so that kids will have a new place to hang out while real...
We follow Daja to a Hellion motor home. It looks less like something your grandparents would drive to the Grand Canyon and more like a Gothic mansion on wheels—one designed by insects and decorated by...
You mean there are miserable, depressed assholes in Heaven, too? Of course. A lot? Enough. And they piss everyone off? They sure do. Good. She bumps her shoulder into mine. It’s nice to see you.
I didn't want this high a profile, but at least now everyone knows I'm armed.
Marchosias
None of the palaces in Hell come close to Lucifer's in size or beauty. Lucifer lives at the top of a literal ivory tower, miles high. You can't even see the top from the ground. The joke is that he bu...
Brooding is for chickens, as my first-grade teacher used to say. Or maybe it was Lucifer. Homily reciters all kind of run together for me.
What’s a shvitz? he yells. Really? You’re driving up Hell’s asshole with these Grease rejects and that’s the first thing that falls out of your skull?
Mostly, Sub Rosas are the people regular people aren't supposed to know about. It's not that we don't like you; it's that you have a habit of burning us at the stake when you notice us.
Kasabian’s head is still under the bed. I pull it out and set it on his chest, then grab his body by the ankles and drag him into the Cube. I straighten the arms and legs, set Kas’s head back on its s...
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