Parker, what are you doing? Making a funny face in an effort to make you stop staring at me like I murdered your beloved goldfish.
We’re having a big wedding so we can be miserable together before we’re happy together.
It wasn't my finest moment, but I rolled my eyes and actually huffed. Fine, don't answer. I don't even know why I asked.No, I am not having sex with anyone.Oh. I shrugged nonchalantly, but for some re...
Don’t set yourself on fire trying to keep others warm.
If I were a function, you would be my asymptote. I always tend toward you.
Everything is temporary, Duane. This, he gestured to our surroundings, this is temporary. Even mountains fall. Nothing lasts forever. You got a chance at happiness, even for a week, a month, a year? Y...
Everyone knows that in real life, fictionally handsome men are vacuous vessels of Satan.
Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you've never been, perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground. — Judith Thurman
You took one commercial flight, Steven. One. Shhh! he pressed his finger to his lips and loud whispered, He’ll hear you. I glanced to my right and left. Who will hear me? Manuel, the plane.
Elizabeth, in your own misguided, crazy, PMSing-woman way, I think you’ve been trying to be nice. My mouth fell open. Hey! You’re just not very good at being nice. It’s not a strength of yours. I can’...
Not sure if it was compliment, or an insult, or a complisult
Nothing is more frustrating than being attracted to someone who is a complete jerk – except for maybe also caring about that person despite continued abuses. I was such an idiot.
The dreams were the troubling kind where I thought the action and events were genuine while asleep; upon waking and in retrospect I realized they were obviously completely implausible.The one I rememb...
I'm after a woman who likes sex but doesn't put the lust part above the intelligence part. She could have a hundred partners for all I care, just as long as they've been vetted for psychopathic tenden...
That is why I don't want a cell phone. I don't want a droopy fin.
You want to know what you are to me? Fine. You’re my beginning, middle, and end.
My previous outlook could be summed up as follows: Life is shit. Math makes sense. Fictional characters are superior to real people because real people are equal parts pitiful and predictable.
Love, I decided, is being a sidekick.
Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it. — L.M. Montgomery, The Story Girl
Is a chameleon a coward because it can change its color? No. It’s evolved and awesome. I like to think of myself in a similar fashion.
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