I want enduring love. And, if people are honest with themselves, I think that's what everyone wants.
Greg…not everyone is capable of fighting the great fights. Not everyone is brave and strong and powerful. Let people have their causes. Allow them their victories, when victories can be had, without b...
Don’t set yourself on fire trying to keep others warm.
Who called it? I called it! That’s right, uh huh!
Saying someone would make a great politician is like saying someone would make a great serial killer. It’s not a compliment.
Parker, what are you doing? Making a funny face in an effort to make you stop staring at me like I murdered your beloved goldfish.
Love, I decided, is being a sidekick.
Just because you don't feel calm, doesn't mean you can't be calm.
I’d learned from my mother that when someone gives you a subjective compliment—meaning one that can’t be disproven and is based on opinion—but that you find to be completely false, rather than argue,...
Is a chameleon a coward because it can change its color? No. It’s evolved and awesome. I like to think of myself in a similar fashion.
Because you scratched my itch and then you kissed me—both of which freaked me out because neither of which are in the course syllabus for laboratory experiments this semester. And, furthermore—
A woman who demands gifts on Valentine's Day is almost as intolerable as a man who only gives gifts because it's Valentine's Day.
Your birthday gift to me is to place me in the middle of an art heist so that I can taser someone? He nodded, smiling, looking very proud. Thank you, Alex. I mean it. I...I just love you so much.
You should have me there as your representative to make sure he doesn’t try to zap you with his sexy ray.Zap me with his sexy ray?You know what I’m talking about. I barely saw him and I’m feeling the...
The phone in my hand buzzed, demanding my attention, and a text flashed on the screen. It was from Cletus and the sight made my heart lurch and twist, a pining ache stealing my breath. As I scrolled t...
The best stories, I feel, are those that are self-deprecating and involve some thread of irony.
Take romance for instance. Fictional women in romance novels never get their period. They never have morning breath. They orgasm seventeen times a day. And they never seem to have jobs with bosses.
Road trips can either suck monkey balls or, with the right person, they can be awesomesauce with cheesy fries.
People were, essentially, the secrets they kept.
Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most. Mark Twain ~Jethro~