Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Purity is obscurity.
The Bronx? No Thonx!
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
I am tarred and feathered with Time.
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.
If called by a panther Don't anther.
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Progress might have been all right once but it's gone on too long.
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Poets aren't very useful because they aren't consumeful or very produceful.
Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
Which the Chicken and Which the Egg?He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;She thinks she scolds because he drinks;And nether will admit what's true,That he's a sot and she's a shrew.
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin.