“ If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting. Lois Greiman
“ I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet Lois Greiman
“ Men are like beer. Some are bold and some are smooth. But every damn one of 'em has a big-ass head full of air. Lois Greiman
“ Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well. Lois Greiman
“ Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars. Lois Greiman
“ There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders. Lois Greiman
“ Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously. Lois Greiman
“ There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers. Lois Greiman
“ Trust is important to any relationship… and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked. Lois Greiman
“ Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore. Lois Greiman
“ Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head. Lois Greiman