“ Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court. Lois Greiman
“ You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart. Lois Greiman
“ Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies. Lois Greiman
“ Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same. Lois Greiman
“ I fear that someday you will abandon the joys we share and find another not worthy of your charms. Lois Greiman
“ Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen Lois Greiman
“ When in doubt, shoot 1st and ask questions later, but avoid the head, "because they'rea lot more likely to answer if they're not dead. Lois Greiman
“ Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so. Lois Greiman
“ If it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and has whiskers like a cat, it's probably a damn cat. But if it eats your groceries, messes up your kitchen, and makes you want to rip out your hair by the r… Lois Greiman
“ You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you. Lois Greiman
“ Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt. Lois Greiman
“ Chocolate may be cheaper than a psychiatrist, but the latter doesn't generally adhere to your ass for the rest of your natural life. Lois Greiman
