Laurie Notaro Quote
Goddamnit I've never been the pretty friend... She's the one who wears the perfect eyeliner, it never gathers like a crowd in her tear ducts to create a grapefruit-size ebony eye booger. The one who can wear a bodysuit, sit down in it, and not have rolls of fat cascading over her belt. The one who can eat a sandwich or hamburger and not wind up with lipstick on the bun or on her chin. The one who can actually eat in front of other people and not have food, like coleslaw, hanging from her lip or shooting out of her mouth, landing on the plates of other diners. She never spits when she talks. She sleeps with her mouth shut and never drools. She doesn't pick at her face. And she never, ever has to take a shit.
Goddamnit I've never been the pretty friend... She's the one who wears the perfect eyeliner, it never gathers like a crowd in her tear ducts to create a grapefruit-size ebony eye booger. The one who can wear a bodysuit, sit down in it, and not have rolls of fat cascading over her belt. The one who can eat a sandwich or hamburger and not wind up with lipstick on the bun or on her chin. The one who can actually eat in front of other people and not have food, like coleslaw, hanging from her lip or shooting out of her mouth, landing on the plates of other diners. She never spits when she talks. She sleeps with her mouth shut and never drools. She doesn't pick at her face. And she never, ever has to take a shit.
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About Laurie Notaro
She co-founded Planet Magazine, and was a senior editor at Tucson Monthly, a full-color city magazine. Notaro was a columnist for ten years at The Arizona Republic. In October 2001, her book The Idiot Girls’ Action Adventure Club was picked up by Random House, which resulted in eleven books. She published with Simon & Schuster with Crossing the Horizon and Potty Mouth at the Table. Her latest book, Excuse Me While I Disappear, is published by Little A and is a collection of musings on a Gen X-er becoming an AARP-er. Numerous articles, essays, and novels have followed, and she was a finalist for The Thurber Award for American Humor. She has written for The New York Times, Glamour, Oprah, BARK Magazine, USA Today, Village Voice Media, and BUST.
Notaro was raised in Phoenix, Arizona, She graduated from Arizona State University with a degree in journalism. She currently lives in Eugene, Oregon with her husband.