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Kinky Friedman Quotes

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?

Kinky Friedman

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?

Tags: design, believe, intelligent, you

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.

Kinky Friedman

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.

Tags: detective novels, funny

About Author
Richard Samet "Kinky" Friedman (born October 31, 1944) is an American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician, and former columnist for Texas Monthly who styles himself in the mold of popular American satirists Will Rogers and Mark Twain.
Friedman was one of two independent candidates in the 2006 election for the office of Governor of Texas. Receiving 12.6% of the vote, Friedman placed fourth in the six-person race.

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Kinky Friedman

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Tags: marriage, funny, gay marriage, kinky friedman

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Kinky Friedman

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Tags: money, pet, dog

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Kinky Friedman

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Tags: life, financial, life is a

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.

Kinky Friedman

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.

Tags: funny, humorous, inspirational, life

The best fiction is true.

Kinky Friedman

The best fiction is true.

Tags: fiction, humor, on fiction, truth

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Kinky Friedman

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Tags: work

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

Kinky Friedman

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

Tags: war

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Kinky Friedman

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Tags: beauty, eye, beer, holder

I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

Kinky Friedman

I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

Tags: money

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

Kinky Friedman

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

Tags: truth

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

Kinky Friedman

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

Tags: home

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

Kinky Friedman

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

Tags: god, respect, choice, me

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

Kinky Friedman

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

Tags: experience, politics

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

Kinky Friedman

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

Tags: education

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

Kinky Friedman

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

Tags: change