Two days ago she watched me kill someone, and she offered me her backyard as a place to hide the body. Truly? Magnusson raised his eyebrows in surprise. That’s a fine woman.
Trees are always the cure for your modern bollocks.
That was it. Owen grabbed his arm, yanked it toward him, and head-butted the punk. He went down with a yelp and Owen stood up, kicking his chair away behind him. Respect your elders, lad!The inn got q...
Shared knowledge can weigh heavy in the scales of power, he replied, and I have seen the truth of it since. Controlling what you want shared is always the issue, and writing down nothing is the most e...
People today think ancient Egypt was ineffably cool. I blame this misconception on hieroglyphics and (to a lesser extent) on the Bangles.
Pardon me, is this some kind of social experiment? You want me to get a hundred and forty-four Samoans and cram them into your cabin with a case of whiskey?
Out of the steam and the foam and the froth, a man in white with poor eyesight will craft a liquid paradox, and it shall be called the Triple Nonfat Double Bacon Five-Cheese Mocha!>
Morrigan visited me in my dreams. It tore me away from a nightmare where I was trying to teach high school science to a room full of creationists, so I was mightily relieved to see the Chooser of the...
Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a simple slogan: Die angry at maximum volume. (Dying silently is out of the q...
Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it...
Leif stared at me, utterly still, the way only vampires and pet rocks can manage.
It comes down to the fact that he serves a different value system than any human one. I pointed out that Gaia was interested in protecting the vitality and variety of life on the whole planet. Broadly...
Iron can be bent to your will, if your will is stronger than the iron. But
Ihave never thought that winds howled so much as moaned. My imagination gives them reasons: They moan because they’re weary of their never-ending journey around the globe and are haunted by what they’...
Ignore that guy, I said, pointing down. He’s always intruding on my conversations and poking his head in where he’s not wanted.
I will tell you, even though you are young and unprepared: Men. are. Shit.
I know that when ye think o’ love you’re supposed to think o’ kissy faces and scented soap and hummin’ happy songs together, but there’s another vital part to it that people rarely admit to themselves...
I just starred at him like he was trying to sell me the Sham-wow and the Slapchop for only $19.99
I hurt in places I didn’t know were places.
I have salted my hatred and cured it, stored it in a dark cellar of my mind against the day when I could let it be my only nourishment. The day is finally come, and I will tear into this meat and savo...