“ Far past the time when everything might have turned out well. We are now in crisis management, hoping that things will turn out badly instead of much, much worse. That Kevin Hearne
“ But greatness is in the act of creation and not necessarily in the finished product. Creating is the yin to the yang of our consumption and the doorway to beauty that we all want to walk through. Crea… Kevin Hearne
“ [...] we are on the payrolls of two dozen different companies as consultants, but we do absolutely nothing for our paychecks, just like normal consultants. Kevin Hearne
“ You, sir, I said, have all the dignity of a badger with the clap. Shark shit has more fiber than you. I’m going to tie you nuts-first to a monkey’s cage and make a mix tape of the resulting noise. The… Kevin Hearne
“ You said he was shot by his own clone troopers? That was what his recording said. We, of course, had no way to confirm it. Asking the local garrison of troopers if someone may have shot a Rodian Jedi… Kevin Hearne
“ You must be thinking of stories from other cultures. Irish women tend to kick ass and do whatever they want. For exhibits A, B, and C, I give you the Morrigan, Brighid, and Flidais. Kevin Hearne
“ You must be thinking of stories from other cultures. Irish women tend to kick ass and do whatever they want. For exhibits A, B, and C, I give you the Morrigan, Brighid, and Flidais. Fair enough. So wh… Kevin Hearne
“ You can be told that reading Victor Hugo will sap your will to live, but you can’t understand what that means until you’ve read a few chapters and your eyes have glazed over and someone has to revive… Kevin Hearne
“ Yes, you’re adorable, aren’t you? Are you a good boy, Snugglepumpkin? Oberon wagged his tail and came over within petting distance. Oh, yes, you are a good boy, yes, you are. She stopped making sense… Kevin Hearne
“ With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand. It’s so much easier. Why can’t humans do that? Kevin Hearne
“ Why content ourselves with meager fish when we can eat our own animals, the God asked. I can not eat my own ass, though I thought it should be obvious to him. He carries me where so ever I wish. Kevin Hearne
“ When The Empire Strikes Back first came out in 1980 and I saw Luke summon his lightsaber to his hand in the wampa cave, I remember thinking, Whoa! Awesome! And then, after I’d seen it maybe ten more t… Kevin Hearne
“ What is all this melodrama? Just because they’ve never heard of your favorite thing doesn’t mean they hate their lives or they need your sympathy or need you to come along and show them how to fix it.… Kevin Hearne
“ What do pharmacists dream of? Caribbean vacations paid for by GlaxoSmithKline? Sample packs of Percocet? Her Kevin Hearne
“ What are you so pleased about?I only drink a little at a time, like half a cup ever four or five months, to maintain my current age. Half a cup has a mild laxative effect.What kind of effect?Laxative.… Kevin Hearne
“ What Sherlock does is train his mind to remember details, access them as needed, and then spy the hidden pattern in them. It’s like spotting animals in clouds: The vapor’s the same for everyone, but s… Kevin Hearne
“ We saw Leif to the door and wished him farewell. Time to hit the hay for the last time in this old house, I told my hound as I closed the door on the vampire. All right, buddy. What’ll it be? Kevin Hearne
“ Wait! I shouted, chasing after him. Leaves sawed at my face and arms as I crashed into the undergrowth. I have questions! How do I know this is real? What if it’s just a dream with a lowercase d? What… Kevin Hearne
“ Two days ago she watched me kill someone, and she offered me her backyard as a place to hide the body. Truly? Magnusson raised his eyebrows in surprise. That’s a fine woman. Kevin Hearne
