Suspect most people have someone like Beau Thatcher in their lives—a person standing in between who you used to be and who you want to be, guarding the wall and proclaiming that you shall forever be i...
One cannot sass me with impunity.
Now; it was not then. Satisfied that he had cowed me sufficiently, he mounted his chariot and snapped the reins, flying back into the dark clouds that had concealed his approach. From that day to this...
Is the Way and the Truth.
Had bees, for example, try to pollinate my nostril or ear because my red hair attracts them like a cluster of flowers, and once I get six legs and a pair of wings buzzing around in there, I forget abo...
Because feck a handsome chicken if I wasn’t right about Fand.
Your gift for euphemism continues to thrive. But I think I have heard of such modern relationships. There is a colloquialism for them, yes? They are boogie calls. Boogie? Oh! Nice try. You were very c...
You said he was shot by his own clone troopers? That was what his recording said. We, of course, had no way to confirm it. Asking the local garrison of troopers if someone may have shot a Rodian Jedi...
You said Americans assert their own opinions as if they were facts and dismiss inconvenient facts as mere opinions.
You must be thinking of stories from other cultures. Irish women tend to kick ass and do whatever they want. For exhibits A, B, and C, I give you the Morrigan, Brighid, and Flidais.
You hear that? The nice blonde in her thirties is actually more than 140 years old.
You have some kind of food in a safe? Is that, uh... safe?Yes. You may relax and depend on my methods of preservation.
You can be told that reading Victor Hugo will sap your will to live, but you can’t understand what that means until you’ve read a few chapters and your eyes have glazed over and someone has to revive...
With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand. It’s so much easier. Why can’t humans do that?
Why content ourselves with meager fish when we can eat our own animals, the God asked. I can not eat my own ass, though I thought it should be obvious to him. He carries me where so ever I wish.
What is all this melodrama? Just because they’ve never heard of your favorite thing doesn’t mean they hate their lives or they need your sympathy or need you to come along and show them how to fix it....
What are you so pleased about?I only drink a little at a time, like half a cup ever four or five months, to maintain my current age. Half a cup has a mild laxative effect.What kind of effect?Laxative....
What Sherlock does is train his mind to remember details, access them as needed, and then spy the hidden pattern in them. It’s like spotting animals in clouds: The vapor’s the same for everyone, but s...
Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name.
Wait! I shouted, chasing after him. Leaves sawed at my face and arms as I crashed into the undergrowth. I have questions! How do I know this is real? What if it’s just a dream with a lowercase d? What...