It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squ...
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
It is the little things that fret and worry us you can dodge an elephant but not a fly.
Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.
When a man gets talking about himself he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.
Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself and then deliberately gets into.
Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got.
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles safe on her nose all the time.
The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.
Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'.
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
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