One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
It is the little things that fret and worry us you can dodge an elephant but not a fly.
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
When a man gets talking about himself he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got.
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.
It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient one too.
It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.
If it wasn't for faith there would be no living in this world we couldn't even eat hash with any safety.
It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall but to lie there and grunt is.
When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice he wants and I give it to him.
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
There are people who are always anticipating trouble and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen.