AtomicQuote

Joey Adams Quotes

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

Joey Adams

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

Tags: business

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Joey Adams

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Tags: fitness, exercise, fact, far

About Author
Joey Adams (born Joseph Abramowitz; January 6, 1911 – December 2, 1999) was an American comedian, vaudevillian, radio host, nightclub performer and author, who was inducted into the New York Friars' Club in 1977 and wrote the book Borscht Belt in 1973.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Joey Adams

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Tags: funny, worry, grow, you

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Joey Adams

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Tags: marriage, wife, questions, nothing

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Tags: marriage, give, take

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

Joey Adams

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

Tags: success, work, late, oil

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Joey Adams

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Tags: wisdom, fool, kiss, you

I want to die like my grandfather died . . . peacefully in his sleep. Not like the other three people screaming in the car.

Joey Adams

I want to die like my grandfather died . . . peacefully in his sleep. Not like the other three people screaming in the car.

Tags: life, death

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

Joey Adams

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

Tags: money