She’s going to show up at the Mexican border once she finishes the marathon to her car, Fletch says. I nod. Sounds like it, yes. And she’s confident the border guards will simply stand there with open...
Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt we'll ever come to terms on tastes great or less filling and...
Over the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased down a car of speeding teenagers while shaking a brick at them, neve...
If someone could harness the power of my love for this dog, I swear I could singlehandedly end our nation’s dependence on foreign oil.
I stuff another handful of Raisinets in my mouth. What gets me is the 'pretty face' bit. 'Cause I won't mind being reminded I'm fat as long as you water it down first. Why not say, Hey I'm going to in...
I don’t want to measure my success in clicks. I don’t want my value as a person determined by retweets. When I die, I guarantee I won’t care how many Tumblr followers I’ve had. And why is anyone follo...
Forgive the cliche, but friends are truly the family you choose.
Cost to clean deeply soiled rugs: $200. Cost to replace shiny, black, stack-heeled, pilgrim-toed boots: $185. Cost to fix every single delicious table and chair leg in the house: $490.Life with two sh...
You wonder if Amazon sells them because if they do then that’s a sign from God, especially if there’s a Buy with One Click button and somehow there’s a cellular data connection even though you’re driv...
EBay is a fine place to unload your Prada bag when you're in a desperate situation and it's exactly what the doctor ordered when searching for a specific item, say an authentic 1965 edition of the gam...
What about my Girls Gone Mild life leads you to believe I’m a body shot shy of debauchery? Is it the pearls?
Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.
Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.
Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda.Maybe you're just you.
Or how about when a person publishes something along the lines of, This has been the worst day EVAH, but then gets all closed-lipped about why it’s been so bad. This is attention-seeking at its worst.
No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract.
Looking back, my abstinence was less a function of convictions and more because I was too much of a dork to be invited to parties. One doesn’t stumble into many dens of iniquity on the way to a speech...
I’m not one of those folks who have to face death to live life. I
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chicks who'll break out the sangria just because you n...
Although they’re doing manual labor, they’re both wearing tailored slacks and dressy leather shoes, which