Janet Evanovich Quotes

Two windows, she said with a smile. And there’s no such word as besweatered. It’s like bespectacled, only with a sweater.

We better hurry, Grandma said. I don't want to be late for the viewing. I want to get a good seat right up front, and there'll probably be a crowd, being that the deceased was shot. You know how some...

We're not going to die. You're with me kiddo and it just happens I know a few survival skills. Oh yeah right. Like carrying your Visa Gold in case the restaurant doesn't accept American Express.

Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position.

We’re taking Forest to the police station, and then I’m taking the minions home with me. I’ll stash them in my apartment until someone springs Forest. They haven’t put the carpet down yet, and Briggs...

When you live in Jersey a beach isn’t enough. People have energy in Jersey. They need things to do. They need a beach with a boardwalk. And the boardwalk has to be filled with rides and games and crap...

Who else’s wife did you sleep with? Lula asked. Recently? Lula turned to me. And we’re supposed to be keeping him from getting a rocket up his butt why?

Whose birthday? I asked. No one’s, Connie said. We’re celebrating that you’re not dead.

Working at Rangeman is a high-stress job, and you’re one of our few sources of comic relief. I give you a car and my men start a pool on how long it will take you to trash it. You’re a line item in my...

You don't mind if I take a picture of this guy with my cell phone, do you? I need to prove he's dead.''Knock yourself out,' Morelli said. 'Last time an FTA of yours went dead you asked the EMTs to dri...

You don’t know. You’ve never been married and divorced. Everything is insurmountable when you’re married. The fact that you want to talk at the breakfast table and he insists on reading his paper is i...

You don’t look like a cop, I told him. All the other guys wear suits. I’ve been asked by the chief not to wear a suit. I look like a casino pit boss when I wear a suit. I don’t inspire trust.

You fainted, I told Tank.I did not, Tank said. That's a lie.

You know what your problem is? You got too many scruples. One or two is okay, but you get too many of them, and it clogs everything up.What she said made no sense at all, but was probably right.I got...

You never know when Mr. Good Enough is gonna come along. I like to be ready.

You underestimate me. I’m pretty fucking mean. Morelli grinned. You’re a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.

You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it.Lula to Stephanie

Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.

You’d really go all the way to Greece, and run a covert operation again, just so I can have the satisfaction of capturing Nick Fox? Sure, he said. We don’t get nearly enough quality father-daughter ti...

Basement.