Janet Evanovich Quotes

I’m telling you, it’s fucking hard to be classy, she said. T

Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time rolling on the ground with men who think a stiffy represents personal growth.

Lula got into line, and I relaxed in Ranger's Mercedes. Vlatko was out of the picture. Ranger was safe. I was wearing my own underwear. Life was good.

Lula leaned forward so she could whisper. You talking about size? Was your man’s part that big? Heck no, Grandma said. His part was that dead.

Morelli ran after him, there was a lot of yelling and growling, and Morelli came down empty-handed. He ate it, Morelli said. I was horrified to the point of gagging. Ranger stared down at his shoe, ma...

Mr. Landowsky was eighty-two and somehow his chest had shrunk over the years, and now he was forced to hike his pants up under his armpits. Oi, he said. This heat! I can't breathe. Somebody should do...

My father hired you to protect me, Ahmed said, not to go off chasing men. Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. We think this guy killed Fred. Who's Fred? My uncle, I told him. He's m...

My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.

Nice to see a pretty girl stopping by, even if it is just business. And look at you with all that curly red hair and big brown eyes. And you got a nose that’s cute as a button. I bet you work out too.

Nice work, I said, alluding to her nails. Maura, at The Hair Palace, does them. She’s a genius with nails, and she’ll bikini wax you till you’re bald as a billiard ball.

Nick stopped on the sidewalk, pulled a ring from his pocket, and handed it to Kate. Your wedding ring. It was a platinum band inlaid with diamonds. Simple but elegant. Kate put the ring on her finger....

Oh my God. You're going to Julie Morelli's wedding! It's true about you and Joe.What about me and Joe?I heard you were living with him.I had a fire in my apartment, and I rented a room from him for a...

Okay so I fibbed a little about the kids. I didn't want her to feel bad. I mean we can't all be lucky enough to have a hamster.

Omigod. He gave you a car?He said it was an investment in our working relationship. What does that mean?What kind of car is it?A new Porsche.That's at least oral sex.Be serious! I said.Okay, the truth...

One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger

Oscar Wilde said it's never the question that's indiscreet, only the answers.

Play the role, Lula said. That’s what we do. We pick a role and we play it. What role you want to play? I want to be smart, and I want to be brave. Go for it, Lula said.

Princeton isn't actually part of New Jersey. It's a small island of wealth and intellectual eccentricity floating in the Sea of Central Megalopolis. It's an honest-to-god town awash in the land of the...

Princeton isn’t actually part of New Jersey. It’s a small island of wealth and intellectual eccentricity floating in the Sea of Central Megalopolis.