He had his hand in your pants and he kissed you, Lula said. I’m wetting myself.
God bless YouTube, Lula said. You don’t even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.
Everyone crossed themselves at the mention of the IRS. Street gangs and the mob paled in comparison to fear of the tax code.
Dude, Diesel said. That’s no way to get dessert. Carl snapped to attention. Eep? Cookies, I told him. Carl jumped onto his booster seat, sat ramrod straight, and folded his hands on the table. He was...
Did you take Joyce's engine?''My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.
Did you pack an extra gun? Of course, she said. You can never have too many weapons. Jake smiled. I raised you right.
Death isn’t such a big deal when it’s happening to someone else.
Cripes, I can’t keep up on this political correct shit. I don’t even know what to call myself. One minute I’m black. Then I’m African American. Then I’m a person of color. Who the hell makes these rul...
Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside.
Count me in. Jake put his things back in the rucksack, slung it over his shoulder, and stood up. The kids can finish up this project. You’ve taught them how to make land mines? I wouldn’t be much of a...
Clara and I retraced our steps and returned to the speakeasy. Josh and Carl were playing checkers in the dim light. Who’s winning? I asked. Carl is winning, Glo said. If we don’t let him win he pitche...
Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9
Calories don't count if they're connected to a celbration. Everyone knows this.
Bucky's garage was a two-bay cinder block structure that sat like an island in a sea of cars. New cars, old cars, smashed cars, rusted cars, cars that had signed on for the vital organ program,
Babe, Ranger said, you need to make some decisions. I made decisions. I’m just having a hard time sticking to them.
Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?'Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.'Superheroes are make-believe.'Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn’t funny! Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom.
Are you hungry? Grandma asked me. Do you need breakfast? I’m famished!
Are you a feminist? You bet your ass, Lula said. Unless I need something done that’s man’s work.