Pretty, he said. The wine? You. I was wearing a white T-shirt and striped pajama bottoms with a drawstring waist. My feet were bare and my hair was down and disorderly. This would be perfect if we wer...
Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage?Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.
Personally, I thought we were in big trouble if I was the one standing between the world’s population and hell.
Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire.I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer.Whoa....
One of us should stop her, Ranger said to Morelli, his eyes fixed on me.Not going to be me, Morelli said. Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something she wanted to do?Haven't had much success...
Omigod. He gave you a car?He said it was an investment in our working relationship. What does that mean?What kind of car is it?A new Porsche.That's at least oral sex.Be serious! I said.Okay, the truth...
Omigod, Valerie said. Unh! And her water broke. It was an explosion of water. A tidal wave. We’re talking Hoover Dam quantity water. Water everywhere . . . but mostly on Cal. Cal had been standing at...
Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.'There are some similarities.
Okay, Ranger said. We're going to walk through the room and look for this guy. Pretend I'm not here.You going to be the wind again? I asked.Ranger grinned. Wiseass.
Oh my God! Babe! Ranger shouted from the bathroom. Come get your grandmother. Ranger was standing in the glass-enclosed shower with the door open, looking out at Grandma. He was dripping wet and seeme...
Of course it's your fault, Grandma said. You must be doing something wrong, if you know what I mean. Maybe you need to buy a book that tells you how to do it. I hear there are books out there with pic...
OKAY, SO HERE’S the thing. My mother’s worst fear has come true. I’m a nymphomaniac. I lust after a lot of men. Of course, maybe that’s because I don’t actually actually have sex with any. And some of...
No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.
My mother was about three feet from Pooka. She threw herself forward, grabbed hold of his shirt, and they both went down to the ground. They rolled around a little and by the time I reached them, my m...
My mother came into the kitchen. Whose car is that parked in front of our house? That’s Stephanie’s new car, Grandma said. Isn’t it a pip? One of my mother’s eyebrows raised in question. Two new cars?...
My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn. She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn’t enough action.
My goodness, my mother said, reading the label. It’s a tenderloin. I just got it in, Randy said. It’s corn-fed, and it’s got real good marbling. I know everybody’s always talking about grass-fed beef,...
My father would eat cat shit if it was salted, fried, or frosted, but it took an act of Congress to get him to eat a vegetable.
Mrs. Zuppa was coming in from bingo just as I was leaving the building. Looks like you're going to work, she said, leaning heavily on her cane. What are you packin'? A thirty-eight.I like a nine-milli...
Morelli got Briggs a glass. Don’t let the curtains on the windows and the toaster in the kitchen fool you. I’m even less civilized than she is.