Janet Evanovich Quotes

You know nothing. You’re nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage. Say what?

You know, sometimes you can be real scary. I don't what you were thinking back there when you took those shoes off, but all hair stood up on the back of my next.I had airport rage. Fuckin' A, Lula sai...

You made the paper again, Grandma said. And the phone's been ringing off the hook. Your mother's in the kitchen, ironing.My mother always irons during times of disaster. Some people drink, some take d...

You owe me! -StephanieWhy do I owe you? -JoeI caught your no good cousin. -StephanieYeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. -Jo...

You sound like your mother. Sometimes she’s right. Truth is, she was almost always right. And my life would probably be improved if I listened to her more often.

You were worried about me? No, Hal said. I was worried Ranger would kill me if I lost you.

You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.

You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms.Joe Morelli

You're my bodyguard and lover.She shook her head. Just your bodyguard.He'll never believe I'm not sleeping with you.You aren't.Even I find that unbelievable, Nick said.

You're probably gonna find this hard to believe, but I was sort of weird when I was a kid.Salvatore Sally Sweet

Your grandmother needs a ride to the viewing, and I’m holding you responsible if she shoots someone, gets arrested, or tries to take a selfie with the deceased.

Be refreshing. Ranger smiled. There are times when I seriously consider marrying you, but then I get yet another black mark on my path to enlightenment and forgiveness and I scratch marriage off my bu...

Bottles of water on it to keep

Chicken remains, wads of paper towels, empty soup cans, lunch-meat wrappers, and God knows what else.

Fault. Ranger tightened his hold on my neck.

Here, Briggs said.

Into my comfy T-shirt advertising beer, crawled into bed, and switched the light off. I woke up at sunrise with Ranger next to me. Naked. No surprise there. Ranger always slept naked.

Key to true happiness is lowered expectations.

Letting my skirt ride up to a couple inches below my doo-dah,

My leg over the bike. Ranger was watching me, smiling. I like the way you straddle that, he said. Someday . . .