He's a good man, Ranger said.And you? I'm better.
He tucked my hair behind my ear, his fingertips brushing feather light across my temple, his thumb at the line of my jaw. I have my own team.
He shouldn’t have shot Tiki, Logan said. Hawaiian gods get even. Did you see what Tiki did to his foot? It flew right off his leg when you kicked it!
He reached out, opened the glove compartment, and took out a gun. It was a Smith & Wesson .38 five-shot special. It looked a lot like my gun.I stopped by your apartment this morning and picked this up...
He pooped twice, and I didn’t pick it up. My feeling is if God wanted me to pick up dog poop he would have made it look like diamonds and smell like roses.
He had one foot on the floor, one foot hanging over the armrest, and Carl was sleeping on his chest. It was endearing
He had a body like batman
He doesn’t look very smart, Diesel said. He’s not even giving me the finger. Can monkey’s do that? Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. Cool! Hal said.
Grandma Mazur reads the obituary columns like they're part of the paper's entertainment section. Other communities have country clubs and fraternal orders. The Burg has funeral parlors. If people stop...
Everyone crossed themselves at the mention of the IRS. Street gangs and the mob paled in comparison to fear of the tax code.
Every man in my organization knows you and understands that you’re my personal property,
Dude, Diesel said. That’s no way to get dessert. Carl snapped to attention. Eep? Cookies, I told him. Carl jumped onto his booster seat, sat ramrod straight, and folded his hands on the table. He was...
Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.
Cripes, I can’t keep up on this political correct shit. I don’t even know what to call myself. One minute I’m black. Then I’m African American. Then I’m a person of color. Who the hell makes these rul...
Count me in. Jake put his things back in the rucksack, slung it over his shoulder, and stood up. The kids can finish up this project. You’ve taught them how to make land mines? I wouldn’t be much of a...
Are you hungry? Grandma asked me. Do you need breakfast? I’m famished!
Are you a feminist? You bet your ass, Lula said. Unless I need something done that’s man’s work.
And when I was in the trunk, I saw Jesus. And the Virgin Mary. And Ozzy Osbourne.
And then I had to decide if I wanted shoes that kicked ass, or were good for ass-kickin', on account of there's a difference.
An orgasm is an orgasm, but getting there can leave you with a herniated disc if you aren’t careful.